Someone I met along my travels told me that this place brings out whatever you haven't dealt with, and makes you face up to it.
She was definitely correct about that, but I have come to find that it's a little bit larger than just this place. I've found that it doesn't matter where you go, travelling brings up a lot of stuff. Anyone who's ever watched 'The Amazing Race' knows that travelling brings out our true colors - testing relationships, our confidence and view of ourselves, and pushing our comfort zones. And it's true of solo trips as well.
I've met a lot of different people in the past month. Some people are on a short trek hitting as many places as they can, while some are taking a year and slowly traveling...some are volunteering their way around the world for as long as possible, and others still are just on an adventure. Then there's me. I love, love, LOVE adventures. If you are a friend or family member of mine, you know this. I love escaping into the wilderness and going on treks and kayaking into the middle of nowhere and skydiving. But it's always been short term - breaks from work, reality, etc. And usually after a week, two weeks...I'm excited to go home. And this hasn't been different.
Sure, I've had some INCREDIBLE moments in the past month, but it's also been really tough for me. I love having purpose, and doing things
that are useful, and being surrounded by community. So, by the time I got to Paracas, I was really starting to get the grumpy feeling that it was all just silly. And when I got there, I literally hated it. Of course, by the time I left I didn't feel quite so negatively about it. But I was supposed to stay an extra week, which I thankfully decided against. So, now that I'm back in Lima and feel IMMENSE amounts of peace about it, it seems like a good time to reflect and tell you about the last stop of my travels back from Cusco.
Paracas is a small touristy beach town between Huacachina (Ica) and Lima, known for two tours: The boat tour of the Ballestas Islands (said to be the poor man's Galapagos-it's not true) and the bus tour of the Paracas National Reserve. What I didn't realize going in was that besides those two things (and the 6 minutes it takes to go through the museum), there is LITERALLY nothing else to do except pay too much for food and be harassed to buy things.
Actually that's a lie. I did get to go kayaking. Which, in any of my trips is usually a HUGE highlight - except that the area I was allowed to 'explore' was the El Chaco bay, which is the area of the ocean right along the town, covered by boats and pelicans, and where the beaches are littered so much with garbage that the water is all dark brown/black and smells very strongly of poop. Kayaking through it, I was a little more concerned about getting the sewage-smelling ocean water on my clothes than the sights, which were basically pelicans.
That's part of my rampage. The garbage was horrific. Like, I've seen Cusco, and Ica, and the countryside, and there's a lot of garbage pretty much everywhere, because it's the desert where nothing breaks down and they don't really know what to do with it quite yet. So it ends up in the tree lines...or on the beaches. But the disgusting part is how little people care. I literally couldn't walk on the beach in flip flops or bare feet without getting garbage stuck between my toes, and people were SITTING IN IT; I absolutely refused to swim in the ocean because I felt like I might get hives, but people were swimming in it! And if you look at the photos, the rubble is EVERYWHERE. Actually, in one of these photos, the beach littered with garbage is one directly on the property of the expensive hotels. So, no one cares, and it's not just out of poverty. All of these plastic bottles, bags, wrappers, food containers ending up in the ocean. Maybe Jane Fonda should come down here rather than picking on the Albertan oil sands.
And the dogs.
I know dogs are a problem here, as they are in a lot of developing countries. But Paracas is particularly bad. Most of the places I went to had dogs everywhere, but they were mostly well treated - just stray. The dogs in Paracas were all beaten up, in really bad shape, bloodied and scabbed and scarred...and either were SO HAPPY to be pet, or were so scared of being approached like this one pregnant pup who couldn't even move her back legs hobbled away from me in fear. Actually, the morning of my second day there, I legitimately cried on the beach petting a dog that was so happy to be loved, just covered in scabs and patches. It broke my heart.
So I hated the town.
The Ballestas Island boat tour was fine - it may have been because the weather was cold and cloudy, but we didn't see very much wildlife up close. We saw one penguin, but he was so far away. We saw a LOT of birds, and hearing about the history of the islands was really interesting, and the views were still REALLY pretty...but as for the wildlife - we didn't see a lot.
The Reserve though...AMAZING. So pretty! All the coast lines and different colored beaches and rocks...It's something else to see the driest desert in the world meet the sea, and see the unique niches and wildlife that come out of that. We did see a whole bunch of flamingos...unfortunately they were all too far away - which I had a mini inner-tantrum about until I realized it was for the best because if I could get close, so would all the other tourists. Aside from those few moments of selfishness though, I was pretty stunned by the beauty of the place. And the fact that on the reserve at least, they try so hard to combat the garbage problem.
Pics of the reserve:
The best part of the trip though? Definitely this morning. The weird thing is that I was grumpy about Paracas the second I stepped foot there. I don't think it was Paracas' fault. Sure, the garbage is actually really bad and the dog problem is sad, but I think most of my judgement on it came out of the fact that I was just over being a tourist. Obviously being in Lima, I'm still technically a tourist. But staying in places that are just geared towards specific tours and sights and making money...I'm just over it for now. Lima is different - it's so big, and there's so much to explore, but it's not just about going to this destination, or that spot, but to just get out and explore - see things, do things, eat things. Even being on the bus here I felt so much peace, knowing I was coming back to a place where I had people, church to attend, an INCREDIBLE place to stay for a longer period of time to get situated, and just live for awhile.
Basically what that lady said to me is true: When you travel, you face what's going on inside of you. And what I've figured out (so far) is going on inside of me is that I'm not the person that can go from place to place, consuming and seeing things and moving on. I have this need to help, to get involved, to be useful and DO something - and I can't do that in two days or three days. I wrote in my last blog post that Huacachina was wonderful as my oasis, a place to take a break, but that I couldn't stay there because there are things for me to do...I just didn't realize at the time how important of a piece of the puzzle that is for me.
So, I don't know what I'm doing here. But I have time, and space, and opportunity to see what happens. I haven't figured out the answers, or what the point of all of this is, or what I'm supposed to do next. But there's a hammock in the next room, I've already started making friends, I have a beach right outside to spend time and start actually running again, and I'm going to take Spanish lessons, and Surfing lessons (LOL we'll see how that goes). Other than that, I'm so stoked to get back into a routine, going to church on Sundays, getting involved there and connecting with people in the city and living, rather than putting it off - which is what traveling has felt like to me the past couple of days. It's so different for me...I've always had work to go back to, and now I'm looking ahead at all the open water in front of me with a giant question mark hanging over it and not knowing which direction I should walk in. I'm not really afraid of it, more so just unclear. Which is cool, because it's just an indication that I've never been here before, and even though it's confusing and frustrating and hard to explain, that means I'm in uncharted waters and in His capable hands :)
Be well, friends :)
-B. <3